All is flux- a manifesto

The ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus believed that the only things real in life were the things that were in motion or flux. Or to put it as Cameron Crow puts via of Susan Sarandon in Elizabethtown,
“All forward motion counts.”

Lately I have been moving. Well, my whole life I have been moving, just maybe not forward.
But there is new light on the horizon. Life is indeed flux, but each twist is teaching me more and more about myself, and the world around me.
These are some forward motions/thoughts/realizations of late.

Things I believe:

God is real, loving, active, and he desires a relationship with his best creation: us!
Attitude is EVERYTHING.
Every person has the right to peruse happiness as best they can.
Honesty is best.
Love is never the wrong thing to do.
Demanding that love be returned is selfish.
Work hard. Play Harder!
Everything in moderation, even moderation!
Gray areas exist, we can’t possibly know it all!
Everyone is born worthy of justice and dignity.
Grace is essential.
To forgive is the hardest and most rewarding thing one can ever do.
Happiness is a state of mind, not a state of circumstances.
You take you wherever you go.
You can’t save people.
You can’t change people.
You can lead the way and change yourself!

Things I want to be:

Pretty, smart, creative, driven, compassionate, clever, witty, talented, and successful. I want to balanced, happy but not stupid and grounded in reality without being cynical. I want to be well rounded and a quick learning. I want to be kinder, better mannered but free spirited and fun. I want to be quicker to love, slower to judge and better at determining someones character. I want to learn to hold my tongue and keep myself to myself a little more- open with my affection, but guarded with my information.

I want to be more feminine, but spend more time playing sports. I want to be stylish without being prissy. It wouldn’t actually kill me to get a manicure every once in a while. I could still hit a line drive or sink a 3 point if I had to!

Things I want:

Money- It’s actually not so bad and I have no problems being called a sell out. I DO want a jet ski and a nice house and a new car! I am not as much of a hippie as I appear to be. I want a fulfilling career, sure. But mostly right now I want a good family/love life and a crap load of money. Its easier to enjoy passions if you can afford to do them right. I have realized that earning my free time is actually a good thing.

A Degree- Might as well face it, I need it. I want it, even. What has happened to me? 🙂

Love/Marriage/Home life- I actually want this more than money, but this is kinda a sensitive subject at the moment so I will just leave it at this. If you have someone in your life who loves you and you love, don’t let anything stand in your way. If love is about timing, build a time machine if you have to.

Things I DON’T want:

To be a musician- I thought I did, but I don’t. I finally faced it, its not the dream I thought it was. I really wouldn’t regret not making it as a musician. I don’t even like to play live shows! I would much rather be behind the scenes helping more talented, more driven, musicians make their dreams come true. It’s just not worth what I would have to give up. I don’t want to live my life from a suitcase not knowing where next month’s rent money is going to come from! I want a house and a husband and kids and soccer practice and museum banquettes! (If you are surprised while reading this, imaging how surprised i felt realizing this!) I actually like cooking dinner every night, and decorating a room. There isn’t a whole lot of home in a van! I LOVE music but I would much rather write about it, or produce it, or something of that nature.

I don’t want to be restless and searching all my life- I have always just thought I had a naturally restless spirit, and that there is nothing I can do about it. But I think thats bull. The only reason I am so erratic is because I was afraid of being still. If I really try something, and stick it out and it still doesn’t work out, that means I failed. I let people down, I tried my best and it wasn’t good enough. I have never tried my best, worked my hardest, and done all that I can. The fact that I could, and it still would not be enough is the scariest thought. But it is one I am finally willing to face.

Things I value:

Love- In whatever form it takes, it is special and a gift.

Family- Lately my funny little cluster of mis-matched family members have been my support system. I will never again take them for granted, they are amazing people and despite their flaws (beautiful ones of course) I treasure them all!

Friends- My friends are the sunshine in my world! They are all so unique and I need them so much, they add so much richness to my life! Now that they are scattered around and we are all so busy, I cherish my time with them more than ever. If no man is an island, a woman might as well be a continent. Friends are essential.

Money- Being able to pay bills-Cool. Being able to pay bills and still have money left over for the movies- AWESOME!

Sunshine/Sleep- The importance of these two things, I cannot stress. Take it from a girl who gets a shockingly small amount of both, enjoy it while you can!

Words- The written word, to me, is the most powerful force in the universe.

Health- I am blessed despite bad joints and allergies.

God- strong faith is not only admirable, it is helpful!

Things I don’t value-

Music for the sake of being heard,

Sex for the sake of getting off,

Drugs for the sake of escaping,

Money for the sake of being thought successful,

Individuality for the sake of rebelliousness,

Change for the sake of change (not progress),

Passion for the sake of passion (without direction).

Religion for the sake of power.

If you actually made it to here, I applaud your loyalty to a cause but get lost! Go live your life and find out what you value!

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